Recently, my family had to put our dog, Lucky, down. A few weeks before that, my Uncle Michael, a beloved husband and father of two, passed away at the fairly young age of 60.
Death is inevitable, but when it happens, it has a habit of stopping us in our tracks for a bit, and at least for me, it tends to resurface the concept that we are not invincible. That we are indeed mortal. And that sooner or later, our bodies will become lifeless too.
Me and Lucky, about an hour before the house vet came to euthanize him, right in the comfort of our home in North Andover, MA.
It can be strange to think about, but when you do think about it, it is sad, really. We all have these precious lives composed of memories with loved ones and friends and maybe several achievements or acts of kindness, that are proof in themselves that we have not only existed, but have also made a difference in some way, no matter how small. It is sad, because once we are gone, all of who we are and what we were just becomes a temporary memory. And unless we’re people like George Washington or Albert Einstein, our faces will fade, along with the memories of us, when those who knew us also die.
Sooner or later, there may be almost no evidence that we even existed at all, and suddenly that small difference we made, becomes seemingly moot. Now, I know that it’s not important to every person whether or not he/she will be remembered for all eternity… Even I don’t necessarily wish to be memorialized for as long as humans are here on Earth, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t want to leave behind some sort of legacy. And I’m pretty sure that I’m not alone when it comes to having this aspiration.
Not going to lie, I’ve been real anxious lately, and quite selfish with my time, spending most of it alone on my computer (when I’m not at work), contemplating my life and basically making moves towards a major career change. But the recent deaths of my dog and uncle have resulted in me thinking a great deal about fate and legacy (not to mention, death), to the extent that I have even asked myself: What is the point?
Millions and millions of people die in the world each year; and while we are aware of this, we are still ineluctably ignorant about almost all of them. We have no idea who most of them were, or what they did while they were alive, and chances are, we probably weren’t even affected by whatever it was that the vast majority of them did!
… Yet, here I am, spending all this time trying to figure out how I want to make my mark on the world.
Sometimes, I just wonder: In the grand scheme of things, will whatever I choose to do even matter? In the grand scheme of things, will I even make an actual difference? Because if it doesn’t, and if I don’t, then… What is the point?
In this day and age, not only can someone die of cancer or of being a dare devil son of a bitch, or of natural causes, but one can also die very unfortunately and unexpectedly by some troubled soul who just feels like unleashing a sea of bullets into an unsuspecting crowd. Or one can get purposefully run over by a truck driven by an evil driver. Or blown up by a suicide bomber. There are many horrific ways someone can die before they naturally would, and I guess, no matter what century you lived in, that has probably always been the case in one way or another. But these tragedies make me wonder even more about what the point of living is.
What is the point of going to school for almost your entire life if you may never even get to begin your career?
What is the point of going into work and busting your ass everyday, when you can most likely be easily replaced by someone else if you were to disappear?
What is the point of pursuing someone who could end up being “the one” if you can be left devastated by the fatal intrusion of a bullet that tore through their flesh?
What is the point of spending bunches of your time and money planning a trip to somewhere new, when your plane might crash and you might never even get there?
What is the point of giving birth to a child and giving it your love and spending your money on it if it may never even get to live a full life? Or maybe you won’t live long enough to watch it live a full life.
What is the point of letting a dog become part of your family when they have such a short life span in comparison to your own, and you will probably, inevitably, have to say goodbye?
What is the POINT?
What is the point of trying and working and loving when all that we do will eventually be forgotten about, and the only thing that is certain in this life is that we are going to die!
When I was a freshman in high school, my English teacher, Mr. Dellechiaie, unveiled to us all that the purpose of life is, simply, to keep it going. But what about those of us who don’t wish to have children? Or the animals we have neutered?
What about those of us who for some biological reason, cannot even produce a child? What is the point then?
To be honest, I don’t know.
Some may believe in God and the “Creator” and that God puts us on Earth for something or someone and that everything that happens, happens for a reason. That our lives are predetermined… That there is a “plan” for us.
But is there?
Is it really God’s great “plan” to kill off dozens of innocent little children who couldn’t have possibly done anything in their extremely short lives to deserve such a fate?
Is it really God’s great “plan” to allow someone to crash a plane into one of the tallest buildings on the planet, cutting thousands of lives short and essentially tearing out the hearts of even more thousands of people?
Or are the points of these tragedies, very bluntly, just to be some gut-wrenching methods of keeping the population down?
Sometimes, when I’m having all these negative thoughts, twinges of hopelessness and powerlessness rob me of my motivation, to do… Something … Anything! Not because I don’t want to do something, but because there’s too much that I want to do. And there’s too much to do! I don’t know where to begin, and I’m brimming with a frustrating combination of impatience and anal-retentiveness that leaves me feeling anxious and overwhelmed, so I end up doing nothing, despite the sense of urgency I have inside.
Whenever this happens, I have to make a conscious effort to snap myself out of it; because the truth is, I know that I have something to offer to the world that will make a difference.
And the same goes for you.
It’s impossible to help and/or save everything and everyone, but the thing that I always forget to remind myself, is that I don’t need to help everything and everyone.
And that even if I only end up being truly valuable to just one person or animal, etc., in my entire lifetime, that will be enough. And that will be my legacy… My purpose… My “point” of living.
If I can alter someone’s mindset in a way that will be beneficial for them.
If I can open someone’s eyes and make them see things from a different perspective, deepening their understanding about something.
If I can be someone’s mentor.
If I can save a life, or just in general, make something or someone else’s quality of life better.
If I can breed inspiration in someone’s mind or heart and spirit, even just by living my life the way I do…
The types of deeds that one could take action on, are infinite. But it is these deeds, altogether, that when carried out, will constitute our legacy.
Perhaps they won’t be enough to have our name go up in lights, or to be remembered long after we’re gone, but those impressions we made will live on through the people that were affected. And who knows, maybe that person/those people will be inspired to help someone out the way we helped them out.
I think, sometimes, we underestimate how much helping even just one person can make an impact and cause a ripple effect.
Photo by Pedro Lastra on Unsplash
You may or may not have heard (a version) of the “Starfish Story”, originally written by Loren Eiseley (however, his version has been adapted overtime).
To be honest, when I first heard it, back when I was still in grade school, the story made a big impact on me. And even now, as I am writing this, thinking about the focal message of the story makes me a little emotional. But not in a bad way. Resurfacing this short story to the forefront of my brain during the times of hopelessness and powerlessness that I mentioned above, is one of the methods I use to snap myself back into a motivating world of positivity.
For those who are unfamiliar with the story, or would like a refresher, here’s my version of a brief synopsis of it:
A young boy and his grandfather are taking a morning stroll along a beach. With his feet ankle deep in the ocean, the boy looks up and sees what appears to be miles and miles of starfish that have all been washed up on the shore during high tide. Upon picking one of them up, the boy notices that it is still moist and alive.
“It’s so beautiful!” the boy marvels to grandfather. “What’s going to happen to it?”
“Well,” says the grandfather, “the sun will eventually dry it up, and it will die.”
A look of sadness comes over the young boy’s face, as he realizes that this beautiful thing he just held in his hand may not be alive much longer.
“But don’t worry, son, it is okay. It will become a source of food for other creatures so that they can continue to live. It’s all part of the circle of life.”
The boy listens to his grandfather; but though he understands, he still feels impelled to save the beautiful starfish, by throwing them back into the ocean, keeping them alive for a least a little bit longer.
“What are you doing?” the grandfather asks, perplexed.
“I’m throwing them back into the ocean!” the boy exclaims.
“But son,” the grandfather attempts to reason, “there are miles and miles of starfish that have been washed up on this beach. You’ll never be able to get all of them; it won’t make a difference!”
“Well,” the boy says, as he looks down, thoughtfully, at the starfish he just picked up in his hand, “it’ll make a difference to this one.” And he throws the starfish back into the ocean.
…
……
………
…………
…………… **And then I burst into tears, in my head**
If we all chose not to do something because we thought that doing that one small thing wouldn’t matter, or wouldn’t make a difference, then this world would be in a much worse place.
Yes, it is very possible that doing that one small thing won’t impact many people and that it may be considered insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but it is still necessary that we do it. I’m telling you, it counts.
See, there is a point to life. And there is a point to trying, and working, and loving. Because even if our identities and what we do with our lives is eventually forgotten about, who we are and how we live, still makes a difference to the people and/or animals and other living things, that are alive right now! And I can guarantee you, that your presence in this life has made an impact on someone or something… Somewhere or somehow, even if you haven’t realized it.
So when you die, whether that death occurs naturally or not, people might not know or remember everything that you said or did, but they will remember how you made them feel. They will remember the vibe that you gave them. They will remember how you impacted them.
And that will be your legacy.
So I suggest endeavoring to live your life with intension. Live a life that you are happy and proud to live, and you may make a difference.
Because that is the point.
Hi! (*Waves*) I apologize if this post was a little dark for your liking, especially in the beginning. But I hope that by the end I was able to convey a powerful message to you. This post took much longer to write than I expected it to, considering I had already written a slightly-different-and-yet-not-so-slightly-different draft about two weeks after we had to put Lucky down. It was difficult because I knew the message that I wanted to get across, yet, I kept going off-topic and ended up with multiple pages of content that really needed to be cut out.
Anyway, I hope you can at least appreciate the sincerity of this post, and that it didn’t completely discourage you from reading some of my other material. But if so, then no hard feelings… We good. 🙂
Of course, as always, thanks for reading.
-Brianna-Marie
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